Incivility at work: how to react

Workplace incivilities are manifested by behaviors that are apparently trivial (untimely interruption, absence of greetings, derogatory remarks, disorder in common areas...), but which profoundly weaken the professional climate. These microaggressions, whether intentional or not, foster a feeling of lack of respect, exclusion or devaluation among those who are victims of them. Through repetition, they become an invisible pressure, impairing motivation, self-confidence and psychological well-being.

While these behaviors particularly affect jobs in direct contact with the public (cash register hostesses, caregivers, reception agents, etc.), they are also observed between colleagues within work groups. So the phenomenon is not neither marginal nor reserved for certain sectors : it concerns the entire world of work and is a real mental health and performance issue.

Find out how identify workplace incivalities, measure their impacts and implement solutions to prevent them, respond to them and strengthen cohesion within teams.

Incivilities: behaviors that should not be minimized

Incivility at work refers to all behaviors that transgress the basic rules of Collective good manners : respect, courtesy, listening, collaboration. It is not limited to open conflicts or spectacular violence, but is expressed through more discreet, sometimes involuntary, attitudes that disturb the quality of professional relationships.

Incivility can come from a variety of sources:

• Between colleagues, as part of the work collective (e.g.: devaluation of an employee, appropriation of a common success, derogatory remarks).

• Between managers and collaborators, when the management style is perceived as abrupt, authoritarian, or disrespectful.

• From customers or users, especially in reception, care or service jobs, where employees are on the front line facing aggressive, insulting or discriminatory behavior.

What are the acts considered incivility?

Workplace incivilities take multiple forms, ranging from simple lack of politeness to more toxic behaviors that have a lasting impact on collective dynamics. They may seem trivial when they occur in isolation, but their repetition creates a burdensome climate.

Here are some concrete examples, observed in professional environments:

• Lack of courtesy : do not say hello or goodbye, ignore a colleague, cut off.

• Disrespectful behaviors in meetings : check your phone, send messages, yawn ostensibly or arrive late without apologising.

• Comments moved : derogatory remarks, non-constructive criticism, hurtful or sarcastic humor.

• Infringement of recognition : taking credit for collective work, refusing to value the contributions of others, excluding a colleague from a project or team event.

• Degradation of the common environment : leaving shared spaces in a mess, not respecting organizational rules.

• Toxic attitudes : provocations, voluntary isolation from a colleague, sulking, contemptuous glances, defensive or aggressive behaviors.

Why are these gestures, often invisible, so harmful

Unlike open conflict, incivility involves insidious way. Because it is subtle, it can seem difficult to denounce and can be minimized by those around you.

However, these microaggressions activate the victim's emotional brain, generating stress, discomfort and feelings of exclusion. They call into question fundamental psychological needs: to be respected, recognized and integrated into the collective.

An underestimated phenomenon with profound repercussions

Workplace incivilities are not just temporary annoyances. They are among the main factors in the deterioration of mental health in the workplace.

According to an Ifop survey carried out in February 2025, 62% of employees believe that incivility, tensions at work or conflicts have a negative impact on their psychological well-being.

Namely: 1 in 3 French people have already experienced or witnessed verbal abuse in the workplace.

Individual effects: stress, anxiety, isolation

Incivilities, even minor ones, trigger emotional reactions that disturb the psychological well-being of employees. Voluntary ignorance, derogatory remarks, speech cuts... these repeated actions create a climate of insecurity and affect mental balance. Chronic stress, anxiety, sleep disorders, and isolation are the first symptoms.

Over time, these microaggressions weaken Self-esteem and can lead to more serious psychosocial disorders: depression, Burn-out, or even increased consumption of substances to “hold on” under pressure.

A deteriorated work climate for the whole team

Incivilities do not only affect the targeted person: they contaminate The whole collective. A team where disrespectful behavior reigns develops a degraded relationship climate, marked by distrust and the loss of cohesion. Tensions are building up, communication is becoming more difficult, and collective motivation is receding.

For the company, the consequences are tangible: an increase in absenteeism, an increase in sick leave, a decrease in productivity and increased legal risks in terms of the legal obligation to preserve the physical and mental health of employees.

Distinguishing incivility, harassment, and open conflict

Not all workplace tensions fall into the same category. THEincivility corresponds to a breach of the rules of respect and politeness: untimely interruption, derogatory remarks, lack of recognition. It can be punctual and unintentional.

The stalking, on the contrary, involves a repetition of hostile acts with a desire to harm and serious consequences for the health of the victim.

The open conflict, for its part, implies an explicit disagreement between two parties, sometimes expressed vividly, but which can be resolved through dialogue.

Incivility is therefore a gray zone: it does not always constitute harassment at work, but it is often the case. Front door, because its trivialization prepares the ground for greater violence.

Why incivilities persist in organizations

Despite their recognized impact, incivilities continue to thrive in many professional environments. Several factors explain this:

• Culture of silence : the victims do not dare to report these behaviors, which are considered too minor to “make waves”.

• Lack of managerial regulation : when managers do not intervene, disrespectful behavior sets in and becomes tolerated.

• Increasing individualism : in contexts where individual performance is valued, cooperation and collective respect take a back seat.

• Hierarchical pressure : in vertical organizations, certain authoritarian or devaluing behaviors are integrated as “normal” and rarely questioned.

The role of the unspoken and the taboo in their trivialization

The Weight of the Unsaid reinforces the persistence of incivility. Many employees prefer to keep quiet for fear of being perceived as weak, or because they think these attitudes are “part of the job.” This taboo prevents regulation, promotes the normalization of disrespectful behavior and Maintains a Vicious Circle : the more incivlities are more, the more they are rooted in the culture of the organization.

To get out of it, it is essential to Put words On these situations and to establish a clear framework where everyone knows how to recognize incivility and has reliable ways to report it.

How to act effectively in the face of incivility?

Being the target of incivility, whether it comes from a colleague, a manager or a customer, is always destabilizing. In the case of an aggressive customer, for example, it is essential to remember that the person is primarily expressing their frustration with the organization, not against themselves personally. Taking This Step Back Helps to Avoid Falling Into Emotional Escalation.

Another key is to distinguish what we control (our own reaction, our composure, our posture) from what is beyond our control (the other person's emotion or anger). This ability to let go, reinforced by practices like mindfulness, helps Maintaining Emotional Stability.

Finally, it is crucial to Do Not Stay Alone In the face of these situations. Sharing the experience with your manager, colleagues or a listening device allows you to break the silence and get concrete support.

Encourage assertiveness without confrontation

Faced with incivility, it is not a question of responding with aggression, but of adopting an assertive posture. It involves expressing yourself clearly, setting boundaries, and protecting your self-esteem, all while maintaining a Climate Respectful.

Some useful practices:

• Valuing your work : making your successes visible helps to foster recognition and to limit implicit devaluation.

• Solicit and Give Feedback : constructive feedback clarifies expectations and defuses misunderstandings.

• Welcoming Criticism with Balance : stay calm, ask questions to understand, recognize mistakes if necessary, without feeling personally questioned.

• Maintaining the frame in a tense situation : reformulate without overbidding, refocus the exchange on the essentials, and know how to keep your mouth shut to avoid escalation.

Developing this skill makes it possible to react firmly to incivility without fuelling the spiral of tensions.

The role of management in the regulation of the relational climate

Managers are at the forefront of maintaining a healthy relationship climate. Their role is threefold:

• Prevent, by spreading a culture of mutual respect and by training teams in constructive communication.

• Listen and Intervene, by quickly regulating inappropriate behaviors, before they take hold.

• Play the mediators, in the event of continuing tensions, in order to re-establish a balanced dialogue between the parties.

One Benevolent Management and trained in the management of incivility directly to reducing collective stress and strengthening team engagement.

Implement clear reporting protocols

Beyond Individual Reactions, The Company Can Acquire Solid procedures : dedicated referents, listening units, accessible and protected reporting protocols. These devices make it possible to hear the views of employees and to act quickly.

La Prevention Must also be long-term: regular training, awareness-raising workshops, internal communication on expected behaviors, but also integration of the fight against incivility into the policy for the quality of life at work (QVCT) and the prevention of psychosocial risks.

Integrating incivility prevention into corporate culture

The fight against incivility cannot be based solely on ad hoc reactions: it must be at the heart of Organizational culture. This involves setting up a clear framework, supported by management and shared by all employees. The company is thus committed to valuing respect, mutual recognition and inclusion, in the same way as performance or innovation.

Rituals and Spaces for Relational Regulation

To prevent tensions from building up and degenerating into incivility, it is essential to set up collective time dedicated to regulation. This Can Take the Form of Team meetings Oriented on the Relational Climate, constructive feedback workshops or even cohesion rituals that promote everyone's expression.

These spaces have a double function: to strengthen trust within teams and to give employees a safe place to express their difficulties. Thus, Minor Tensions Can Be Treated Before They Become Sources of Discomfort.

Nonviolent Communication as a Common Foundation

Finally, establishing a culture of non-violent communication is a lever for reducing incivility. It is based on active listening, the clear expression of needs, the recognition of emotions and the search for mutually satisfactory solutions.

Training managers And the Teams To these practices promotes transparency, reduces misunderstandings and creates a climate where everyone feels respected.

Also to read: All You Need to Know About Female Leadership As well as on sexism in the workplace.

How does Teale support the prevention of incivility

Chez Teale, we know that incivility is a real psychosocial risk. To Answer This, We Offer a Workplace wellness solution complete:

• Emotional Support Programs : thanks to our application, each employee can monitor their mental health index, access personalized content (videos, podcasts, articles) and benefit from individual sessions with a psychologist.

• Interpersonal communication courses : we organize workshops and conferences to train managers and teams in non-violent communication, assertiveness and the management of Workplace conflict.

• Confidential reporting tools : Teale provides secure devices that allow employees to report incivility without fear of reprisals. HR and managers thus have reliable indicators to act quickly and effectively.

• Psychological Support and Internal Displays : beyond digital technology, we support businesses with communication kits, awareness displays and internal campaigns, in order to remind people that civility is everyone's business and that everyone has a role to play in maintaining a healthy climate.