Incivility at work: how to react

Workplace incivility manifests through seemingly trivial behaviors—such as untimely interruptions, failing to greet others, derogatory remarks, or leaving common areas in disarray—that profoundly undermine the professional climate. These microaggressions, whether intentional or not, foster feelings of disrespect, exclusion, or devaluation among those targeted. Through repetition, they become an invisible pressure that impairs motivation, self-confidence, and psychological well-being.

While these behaviors particularly affect roles in direct contact with the public (such as cashiers, caregivers, and receptionists), they are also observed between colleagues within work groups. The phenomenon is therefore neither marginal nor limited to specific sectors : it concerns the entire world of work and is a significant issue for both mental health and performance.

Find out how to identify workplace incivility, measure its impact, and implement solutions to prevent it, respond to it, and strengthen team cohesion.

Incivility: behaviors that should not be minimized

Incivility at work refers to any behavior that violates the basic rules of common courtesy : respect, politeness, active listening, and collaboration. It is not limited to open conflict or overt aggression, but is expressed through more discreet, sometimes unintentional, attitudes that disrupt the quality of professional relationships.

Incivility can stem from a variety of sources:

• Between colleagues, within the work collective (e.g., devaluing an employee, taking credit for a team success, or making derogatory remarks).

• Between managers and employees, when the management style is perceived as abrupt, authoritarian, or disrespectful.

• From customers or users, especially in reception, care, or service roles, where employees are on the front line facing aggressive, insulting, or discriminatory behavior.

What acts are considered incivility?

Workplace incivility takes many forms, ranging from a simple lack of politeness to more toxic behaviors that have a lasting impact on team dynamics. These acts may seem trivial when they occur in isolation, but their repetition creates a burdensome climate.

Here are some concrete examples observed in professional environments:

• Lack of courtesy : failing to say hello or goodbye, ignoring a colleague, or interrupting others.

• Disrespectful behavior in meetings : checking your phone, sending messages, yawning ostentatiously, or arriving late without apologizing.

• Inappropriate comments : derogatory remarks, non-constructive criticism, or hurtful and sarcastic humor.

• Undermining recognition : taking credit for collective work, refusing to acknowledge the contributions of others, or excluding a colleague from a project or team event.

• Degradation of the shared environment : leaving common areas in a mess or failing to respect organizational rules.

• Toxic attitudes : provocations, intentionally isolating a colleague, sulking, contemptuous glances, or defensive and aggressive behavior.

Why are these often invisible gestures so harmful?

Unlike open conflict, incivility operates in an insidious way. Because it is subtle, it can feel difficult to report and is often minimized by those around you.

However, these microaggressions activate the victim's emotional brain, generating stress, discomfort, and feelings of exclusion. They call into question fundamental psychological needs: to be respected, recognized, and integrated into the collective.

An underestimated phenomenon with profound repercussions

Workplace incivilities are not just temporary annoyances. They are among the main factors in the deterioration of mental health in the workplace.

According to an Ifop survey carried out in February 2025, 62% of employees believe that incivility, tensions at work or conflicts have a negative impact on their psychological well-being.

Specifically: 1 in 3 French employees have already experienced or witnessed verbal abuse in the workplace.

Individual effects: stress, anxiety, isolation

Incivilities, even minor ones, trigger emotional reactions that disturb the psychological well-being of employees. Being ignored, derogatory remarks, being interrupted... these repeated actions create a climate of insecurity and affect mental balance. Chronic stress, anxiety, sleep disorders, and isolation are the first symptoms.

Over time, these microaggressions weaken self-esteem and can lead to more serious psychosocial disorders: depression, Burnout, or even increased substance use to “keep going” under pressure.

A toxic work environment for the entire team

Incivility does not only affect the targeted individual: it contaminates The entire team. A team where disrespectful behavior prevails develops a degraded relationship climate, marked by distrust and a loss of cohesion. Tensions build up, communication becomes more difficult, and collective motivation declines.

For the company, the consequences are tangible: increased absenteeism, higher rates of sick leave, decreased productivity, and greater legal risks regarding the duty to protect the physical and mental health of employees.

Distinguishing between incivility, harassment, and open conflict

Not all workplace tensions fall into the same category.Incivility refers to a breach of the rules of respect and politeness: untimely interruptions, derogatory remarks, or a lack of recognition. It can be isolated and unintentional.

Harassment, on the contrary, involves repeated hostile acts with the intent to harm, leading to serious consequences for the victim's health.

Open conflict, for its part, implies an explicit disagreement between two parties, sometimes expressed heatedly, but which can be resolved through dialogue.

Incivility is therefore a gray area: it does not always constitute workplace harassment, but it often can. Front door, because trivializing them paves the way for more serious violence.

Why incivility persists in organizations

Despite their recognized impact, incivility continues to thrive in many professional environments. Several factors explain this:

• A culture of silence : victims do not dare to report these behaviors, which are considered too minor to make waves.

• Lack of managerial oversight : when managers fail to intervene, disrespectful behavior takes root and becomes tolerated.

• Increasing individualism : in environments where individual performance is prioritized, cooperation and mutual respect take a back seat.

• Hierarchical pressure : in top-down organizations, certain authoritarian or demeaning behaviors are accepted as normal and are rarely questioned.

The role of the unspoken and the taboo in their trivialization

The Weight of the Unsaid reinforces the persistence of incivility. Many employees prefer to stay silent for fear of being perceived as weak, or because they believe these attitudes are just part of the job. This taboo prevents intervention, promotes the normalization of disrespectful behavior, and Maintains a Vicious Cycle : the more common incivilities become, the more deeply they are rooted in the organization's culture.

To break this cycle, it is essential to Speak openly about these situations and establish a clear framework where everyone knows how to recognize incivility and has reliable ways to report it.

How to respond effectively to incivility?

Being the target of incivility, whether it comes from a colleague, a manager, or a customer, is always unsettling. In the case of an aggressive customer, for example, it is essential to remember that the person is primarily expressing their frustration with the organization, not attacking you personally. Taking this step back helps to avoid falling into Emotional escalation.

Another key is to distinguish what we control (our own reaction, our composure, our posture) from what is beyond our control (the other person's emotions or anger). This ability to let go, reinforced by practices like mindfulness, helps with Maintaining emotional stability.

Finally, it is crucial to Not face it alone when dealing with these situations. Sharing the experience with your manager, colleagues, or a support resource allows you to break the silence and get concrete help.

Encourage assertiveness without confrontation

Faced with incivility, it is not a question of responding with aggression, but of adopting an assertive posture. It involves expressing yourself clearly, setting boundaries, and protecting your self-esteem, all while maintaining a respectful climate.

Some useful practices:

• Valuing your work : making your successes visible helps to foster recognition and limit implicit devaluation.

• Solicit and give feedback : constructive feedback clarifies expectations and defuses misunderstandings.

• Welcoming Criticism with Balance : stay calm, ask questions to understand, and acknowledge mistakes if necessary, without feeling personally attacked.

• Maintaining composure in tense situations : rephrase without escalating, refocus the conversation on the essentials, and know when to stay silent to avoid further conflict.

Developing this skill makes it possible to react firmly to incivility without fueling a cycle of tension.

The role of management in regulating the relational climate

Managers are at the forefront of maintaining a healthy relational climate. Their role is threefold:

• Prevention, by fostering a culture of mutual respect and training teams in constructive communication.

• Listening and Intervention, by quickly addressing inappropriate behavior before it becomes entrenched.

• Mediation, in the event of ongoing tension, to restore balanced dialogue between the parties.

A supportive management style trained in handling incivility directly reduces collective stress and strengthens team engagement.

Implement clear reporting protocols

Beyond individual reactions, the company can adopt robust procedures : dedicated points of contact, support units, and accessible, protected reporting protocols. These tools make it possible to hear employee concerns and act quickly.

The Prevention must also be long-term: regular training, awareness-raising workshops, internal communication on expected behaviors, as well as integrating the fight against incivility into workplace well-being and psychosocial risk prevention policies.

Integrating incivility prevention into corporate culture

The fight against incivility cannot rely solely on ad hoc reactions; it must be at the heart of Organizational culture. This involves establishing a clear framework, supported by management and shared by all employees. The company thus commits to valuing respect, mutual recognition, and inclusion, just as it does performance or innovation.

Rituals and Spaces for Relational Regulation

To prevent tensions from building up and escalating into incivility, it is essential to establish collective time dedicated to regulation. This can take the form of Team meetings focused on the Relational climate, constructive feedback workshops, or even cohesion rituals that encourage everyone to speak up.

These spaces serve a dual purpose: strengthening trust within teams and providing employees with a safe place to express their difficulties. In this way, minor tensions can be addressed before they become Sources of discomfort.

Nonviolent Communication as a Common Foundation

Finally, establishing a culture of nonviolent communication is a key lever for reducing incivility. It is based on active listening, clearly expressing needs, acknowledging emotions, and seeking mutually satisfactory solutions.

Read more: All You Need to Know About female leadership As well as sexism in the workplace.

How does Teale support the prevention of incivility?

At Teale, we know that incivility is a real psychosocial risk. To address this, we offer a workplace wellness solution that is:

• Emotional Support Programs : thanks to our application, each employee can monitor their mental health index, access personalized content (videos, podcasts, articles), and benefit from individual sessions with a psychologist.

• Interpersonal communication courses : we organize workshops and conferences to train managers and teams in non-violent communication, assertiveness, and the management of workplace conflict.

• Confidential reporting tools : Teale provides secure channels that allow employees to report incivility without fear of reprisal. HR and managers thus have reliable indicators to act quickly and effectively.

• Psychological Support and Internal Communication : beyond digital solutions, we support businesses with communication kits, awareness materials, and internal campaigns to remind everyone that civility is a shared responsibility and that we all play a role in maintaining a healthy work environment.